-07-

“The Hotter It Is Coming Out, Xander, The More It Attracts”

Xapper stared in awe. A little girl hid behind the crates of MREs. She stared back at Xapper with big and wet eyes. There was a gleam to her eyes as if they glowed in the dark.

The little girl then resumed eating an MRE. She wore black overalls and a black and white plaid shirt. There was dirt on her face and her hair was wild. She chewed slowly and stared at Xapper suspiciously.

Xapper tipped his hat to the girl and said, “Hello, little lady—”

The little girl interrupted and said, “Go away.”

Her tone was like a knife to his back. It had been some time since Xapper had interacted with a girl of her age. She had to be eight years old and had a rebellious air about her. Xapper forced a smile and tried to remain civil.

“Well, you see, this is my truck and I was going to deliver all this to everyone in town—”

“Everyone ate everybody,” said the little girl. “Nobody left. Need food. Finders keepers.”

“Well, as the one who originally found all of this, I get to say what happens to it,” explained Xapper. “And I don’t recall giving you permission to help yourself.”

“You look like a soldier,” said the little girl.

“I am a sergeant and—”

“Daddy says all soldiers are tools of the man,” said the little girl. “Whatever that means.”

“Oh, good, your daddy is like that, is he?” asked Xapper.

“Doesn’t matter anymore, mommy ate him,” said the little girl as she took a bite of government cracker. “But mommy ate only a little of daddy. Then daddy ate a little of mommy. They then ate each other.”

Xapper felt guilty for arguing with the little girl. But there was a part of him that was really on edge. The lack of sleep and being cursed to eat zombies did not help his mood.

“Sorry to hear that,” said Xapper as he removed his hat. “Look, I’m sorry for being mean. It’s been a really bad last few days for me. And I’m guessing you’ve had some bad days too.”

The girl ate away and glared at Xapper as he spoke.

“Right,” said Xapper. “Why not tell me your name—?”

“Mommy said never to talk to strangers,” said the little girl.

“Good advice, I told my little girl the same,” said Xapper. “Okay, my name is Sergeant Xapper. I worked at the old fortress just outside of town. There! Now you know who I am and where I’m from. We’re no longer strangers. Now, what is your—”

“You're still a stranger, I shouldn’t be talking to you,” said the little girl. “Mommy said so.”

“But daddy ate mommy, right?”

“No, mommy ate daddy.”

“But didn’t they eat each other?” asked Xapper.

“No! Mommy ate a little of daddy and daddy ate a little of mommy,” explained the little girl. “Then they ate each other.”

“Look, please just take what you want and get out of my truck!”

“No!”

“Hot tamales, you are a little defiant one, ain’t you!” said Xapper irritability.

The girl stared in awe and shock. “How do you know what mommy and daddy call me?”

Xapper raised an eyebrow. “What? They called you ‘Little Defiant’?” The girl nodded and Xapper smiled. “That was a lucky guess. Now, Little Defiant, you and I can be friends and go over to town—”

“I’m not going back unless I really, really have to,” said Little Defiant. “People are eating each other. Like mommy and daddy.”

Xapper groaned and shook his head. “No. No way in hell or high water did everyone get eaten or zombified! There has to be survivors!”

“I’m not lying,” said Little Defiant. “It’s scary in town and I don’t want to go.”

“Well I’m going but I ain’t leaving until you remove yourself from my truck!”

“No! No, no, no! You can’t make me!”

“Oh, yes I can!”

Xapper then had enough. He reached into the truck to pull Little Defiant out. She scooted away and screamed.

“Ah! Help! Plasmee, help!”

“Plasmee?” asked Xapper.

And the moment he paused, a shadow skittered within the truck. Xapper then came face to face with a gaping circular mouth with several fangs like a lamprey eel. The mouth screamed and Xapper backed away.

“What in hell?!” Xapper reached for his revolver but in his panic it slipped from his grasp. “Aw! For pete’s sake, of course that would happen now!”

The creature then crawled on four legs to the tailgate of the truck. It stood tall like a lizard protecting its territory. The body was like a dark-black sausage with four stubby legs. Drool dripped from the serrated fangs as the mouth widened and screamed.

Xapper stood still and raised his hands. “Now, now. I have no clue what you are but I feel we got off on the wrong foot here—”

Little Defiant then appeared behind the creature and embraced it and squeezed. “Get him, Plasmee! Squirt on him!”

The creature then began to cough and hack as if ready to upchuck a hairball.

“You might want to duck, Xander,” said Xeak.

Xapper backed away and asked, “What on earth is that thing, Xeak?”

Xapper then tripped on a loose rock under his foot. He fell and as he hit the ground, the creature launched a ball of green goo. The goo sailed over Xapper and it gave off a caustic smell. Little drips of the goo landed on Xapper’s shirt and burned.

“Ow! What the—acid?! It vomits up acid?!”

“You better run, Xander,” whispered Xeak. “Run! Hehehehehe.”

Xapper staggered onto his feet and ran. The ball of gooey acid that was first launched at him hit the ground. It sizzled and instantly made a deep hole in the dirt. Xapper moved his legs as fast as he could but Little Defiant was not far behind him.

The little girl was carrying the monster in a familiar way to Xapper.

“Are you using that thing as a rifle?!”

“Her name is Plasmee and we don’t like you!”

Little Defiant then aimed Plasmee and the monster/weapon fired another goo ball. The green orb flew past Xapper as he dodged. He ran as acidic goo soaring past him.

Xapper made it to town and a goo ball hit the town sign. The “Red” in Redmoose quickly vanished in bubbles and smoke. Xapper then took cover behind what was left of the sign. He waited for Little Defiant to fire again.

And when no more goo flew his way, Xapper tried to negotiate.

“Look, I’m sorry I was mean to you!” shouted Xapper. “Why don’t we talk now, okay?”

“The truck is our new base and you are not welcomed!” shouted back Little Defiant.

“But, wait—” Xapper was out of breath. The hunger made him weak. He needed to eat and had little time to argue. “Look, okay! You can have whatever you want from the truck—except my personal stuff.”

“No, everything in that truck is finders keepers!” declared Little Defiant.

“Look, you can have everything but my stuff,” said Xapper. “Just let me get my stuff and you can have everything else.”

“No!”

Xapper then jumped out of cover and shouted, “You listen here, you little brat! I went through hell back at that base and I am not going to be intimidated by some snot nose—”

The rest of the welcome sign then went up in gooey green smoke. Xapper watched as what cover was left near him melted away. He then looked back at Little Defiant. She held Plasmee so the monster’s mouth was pointed right at him.

Little Defiant then aimed lower and fired a smaller green ball inches from Xapper’s feet. Xapper hopped away and ran towards the town. Little Defiant walked right up to the ruins of the sign and watched him vanish into town.

“I hope everyone eats you, you big meanie!” screamed Little Defiant before she ran back to the truck.

🍴🧠

“What in hell was that, Xeak?” asked Xapper as he took cover behind the nearest house.

“That was a little girl and she bullied you into giving up everything you had, Xander. Hehehehe.”

“Shut it, yarn boy! I meant the thing she had with her. It was like some kind of acid bazooka.”

“Oh, that, Xander?” asked Xeak. There was a pause before Xeak said, “That was a Necrophage, like you.”

Xapper’s eyes grew as he bit his lip. “Are you telling me that the other person cursed to eat zombies that bug-goddess was talking about . . . was that squirming black thing that shoots acid?”

“Yes, Xander,” said Xeak. “But, forget all that. There are some real ripe and plump ones here in town. Get’em!”

Xapper’s stomach screamed. His mouth watered. His eyes were heavy. He needed to eat.

“Fine! Where are they?” asked Xapper.

“One is hiding right below you, Xander.”

Xapper looked down in time for a zombie to pop out from under the house and grab his legs. He kicked the head but the zombie barely flinched. Xapper was learning that the hungrier he was, the weaker at fighting he became.

Xapper fell as the zombie pulled on his legs. He slammed his fists against the head until it cracked open. Xapper then pulled chunks of brain from the open skull.

It was so bland. Xapper was already missing his rucksack with his seasonings. He would kill for just a pinch of salt to give it some flavor. He was missing moose brain covered in hot sauce.

He never did get to finish that moose.

When the zombie who attacked him went still, Xapper began to rip pieces off and chew on them eagerly. He ate the arms and legs as quickly as his teeth could chew. He welcomed the savory taste, it was a nice change from the bland brain.

Xapper then tore open the torso and ate what organs he could pull out. He saved the heart for last. The sweet taste and soft mouth-watering texture of the heart was the perfect finisher for his first human zombie meal he had in days.

Xapper felt refreshed and suddenly filled with energy.

“Right! Let’s go find survivors,” said Xapper.

“There are none, Xander.”

“No, shut up, Xeak. There has to be survivors! That little girl can’t be the only one!”

Xapper then wandered into town. He came across a few zombies and ate them. They were mangled, as if they were chewed on before they became zombies. Xapper was learning that Little Defiant was right.

Everyone ate everybody.

Xapper then found the gun shop. He kicked down the door and searched for anything useful. There were few guns to choose from and little ammo that was available.

Xapper shook his head and growled, “Damn it. The whole town must have raided this place when shit hit the fan.”

“Everyone snatched it up out of panic, Xander. Probably locked it away in their safes. Too bad everyone is dead and the combinations went with them. Hehehehe!”

“Not helping, Xeak.”

Xapper found some hunting knives and put a couple in his empty gun holster. He was still bitter about losing his peacemaker. He found ammo that would go with one available gun—an elephant rifle.

“My granddaddy was a big game hunter, Xeak,” said Xapper as he loaded the rifle and pocketed the ammo. “He had one of these and let me shoot it. Damn recoil nearly took my arm off. One of these could blow away a pachyderm the size of a convoy truck.”

“You're going to waste ammo on zombies you can tear apart with your bare hands, Xander?”

“No, Xeak,” said Xapper as he wrapped the rifle's strap over his shoulder. “This baby isn’t for the zombies. You said it yourself that Mad Marco might be out there. Or maybe mutate zombies. At least I have some fire power now, just in case meaner crap comes my way.”

“Good luck with that, Xander.”

Xapper left the gun shop and three more zombies attacked him. They went down easy, both in the fight and as brunch. Xapper’s hunger was insatiable and he walked down the streets looking for anything that was the walking dead.

Xapper put so much into his body that it came time for him to let some out. There was a construction site with a portapotty. He raced toward it as the pressure grew.

“Bingo! A field office. Just in time too.”

Xapper opened the portapotty and a zombie construction worker with its pants down jumped out at him.

“What the hell? Did you shit yourself to death—literally?!”

He grabbed the hard hat on the zombie’s head and bashed its skull open. Xapper quickly ate the brain before any more zombies could stop him. He sat down in the dank field office, the ripe smell overwhelmed his nose.

When Xapper let the rocks out but it was different this time. Heat also came out with the rocks and it was so hot the stench in the portapotty was burned away. Xapper began to sweat and he looked down to find that some of the obsidian was smoking hot.

“Damn hot sauce! You talked me into that, Xeak! You knew! You knew, you little bastard!”

“Hehehehehehe.”

Xapper finished quickly and left the rocks in the portapotty. They were so hot that Xapper wondered why his butt was still intact. Seconds after he left, a thick smoke rose from the portapotty and it went up in a blaze. The flames were yellow and intense.

“Damn! Right, no more hot sauce!”

“But it tasted so good, didn’t Xander?”

“I will throw you into that shit fire if you do not shut up, yarn boy.”

“But hot obsidian is so helpful, Xander.”

“And how is it helpful, Xeak?”

“The hotter it is coming out, Xander, the more it attracts.”

“. . . what? What do you mean by ‘attract’, Xeak?”

Roars and screams echoed all over the town. The sound of hundreds of footsteps charging shook the ground. Xapper watched as all the zombies in town came stampeding towards him.

Xapper looked around but the construction site was fenced in. The zombies swarmed the only exit in seconds. Xapper drew the two hunting knives in his holster and held one in each hand. He clenched the handles as the zombies surrounded him.

“Xeak! There are too many of them! Put the fire out, Xeak!” bellowed Xapper as the zombies charged. “Xeeeak!”

“Hehehehehe! It’s a buffet, Xander! Eat up!”

To Be Continue . . .