“It’s me, I’m the problem, it’s me!”

So, I don’t pay attention to the modern music scene very much. Taylor Swift has been a name I heard but I do not seek her music out. I have been hearing the song “Anti-Hero” over the radio at work for the longest time and had no clue it was a Taylor Swift song. I bring this song up because its chorus pretty much sums up what I have been going through these past few months.

“It’s me, I’m the problem, it’s me!”

Any creative person knows that when they do not engage in their craft, it really is no one’s fault but their own. I have blamed the weather, I have blamed work, I have blamed my addiction to anime. But it is me, I am the reason I have not written as much as I could. I am the problem.

Case in point, I wrote one chapter in my current writing projects DotNO. And that is it. The weather has been nice and my hours at work have not been completely draining my energy. I had plenty of opportunities to write but . . . I got addicted to anime, again. I’m a geek by nature and I get hyperfixated on certain things. I cannot even imagine how many hundreds of hours into gaming I have done in my lifetime. Anime is my current obsession and I got seriously hooked onto one anime in particular . . . “OVERLORD”.

“Overlord” is one hell of an anime, it starts out goofy but the more you watch, the more you get invested into the side characters’ stories and are in awe of their fate. And this anime gets brutal, without mercy. If you are a character that is not part of the Overlord’s main circle, you have no plot armor. It is fascinating to watch an isekai where a gamer gets sent to a fantasy world that is much like their game but it’s real now. There are just NPCs still, right? That mineset is true horror.

I could go on forever about my thoughts on Overlord, since I finished the currently released episodes in a week, but this is a problem I have had for a while. I get hooked, easily, on things outside of my passion, outside of writing. I am going to see “Thunderbolts*” today and I was going to write this blog’s draft but I am now an hour before leaving to see the movie.

I got hooked on the last four episodes of season 4 (first half) of Dr. Stone. Another anime, my ultimate chronophage. So, I have been aware of this issue for a while. I could try giving up anime cold turkey right off the bat. However, that will only lead me finding something else to hyperfixate on, like another streaming service or perhaps getting back into gaming. And my free time will evaporate if I go back to gaming.

I have been wanting to get into audiobooks but I’ll need another activity to keep my hands and eyes busy. There is nothing wrong with having multiple hobbies however I’m not seeking to get into other projects outside of writing. So, I will stick with anime for now, because it has been a joy in my life that has kept me sane, however, I need to seriously gain some willpower to cut down how much I watch.

So, yeah, that is a new goal I have to achieve in the coming future. Cut down on anime, set a certain amount of episodes or time, this is one of those things I have to correct about myself. And what really should be motivating me to write is because I love to write. When I write, I feel good, I feel accomplished after completing a chapter. There is no greater high than finishing a story.

Here I am rambling, knowing my issues, and talk is free but action is key. This coming week, I will be getting some vacation time in and there is no better time to get on track. And I have to commit because I’m not producing any new material for the site right now. And I would like to have more stories on the site. Maybe I could do more articles, like review Blue Oyster Cult albums or MCU movies. Heck, I just got the “Ultimate Collection of Tremors” which is one of my favorite B-Movie Sci-Fi series.

There is so much I could be doing and I’m not because I’m in a rut. Only I can dig myself out of the hole. “Dig up, stupid!” So, after I write this, I plan on giving my immediate thoughts on “Thunderbolts*” when I get home. I have to be motivated and remain motivated.

Heck, this big ass rant feels good to write. I feel good to write. I love my fingers falling on the keyboard and seeing my thoughts materialize on the screen. I enjoy anime, gaming will always be in my heart, I am a geek and always will enjoy geeky stuff. But this has always been my true passion and love, to write.

“So, it’s up to me, I’m the problem, it’s up to me.”

Good Luck and enjoy what you enjoy, be creative, be awesome,

—BUCK

PS: I make it a personal rule never to watch an anime with more than two seasons. And then Overlord kept showing up in my “Recommend for you” feed and I’m like, “okay, maybe a couple episodes and I’ll write” and a full season is watched and I keep going. And going. And going. So, I’m going to try and follow my personal rule from here on because I know myself all too well. I love to watch animation and the Japanese have mastered the craft to an insanely mind boggling level. So much anime, so much I must resist . . . resist it all!

PSS: Thurisaz (Thorn) from the rune dice this post, which represents Challenge and Strength of Will. Which is appropriate for me, for the future. And a flying eagle on the mystery woodland dice for flying free and be free to write! Write, darn it!