October is off to a good start. As the title pic indicates, yes, I actually did do writing. My own personal project but it was something. A chapter and a half of another chapter written. I’m writing this on Monday 9/29. And today, I’m not feeling too good, even after getting my steps in. Both physically and mentally and I’m not sure why. I overslept and walked in the hot sun for over an hour. Maybe that had something to do with it?

I’m still happy that I have been writing again. Three months of not writing did suck but I have no one to blame but myself. Not sure what has been going on with me lately. Maybe because whenever I have free time I just get distracted by other things. And then my free time is up and I regret not spending it writing.

But after three months, I finally did it!

I don’t know what came over me on Thursday 9/25 to write but I did and it was a solid chapter almost 3k words long. I then proofread that same chapter the next day and had so much joy and fun doing it again.

There has been a lot of apprehension for the last few months to write. It’s like I’m afraid of being happy or having any semblance of joy. I’m kind of wondering if I’m going through something? Yeah, I’m getting kind of real now and I try not to be that way on the site. But the truth is I’m having doubts if I’m good enough to be a writer.

I’m always skittish when it comes to sharing personal works. It might be my lack of confidence and fear of failure or rejection. Honestly, I have tried to enjoy my usual things of interest like podcasts and anime. And I’ve been very neutral to those hobbies. Writing is the one hobby that makes me feel alive and good. And the thought of exposing that aliveness and joy to others terrifies the living CARP out of me.

One day I will have to get over that fear though. I’ve been laying myself bare every week on this goofy site for almost a year. Something in me is pressing forward with this hobby, with my love for writing. Possible because I am hoping for something brighter in the future. [This paragraph is kind of hilarious being an after thought with the following paragraph’s message.]

I renewed the site for another year and will try to keep to one update blog a week. To what end? I don’t even know anymore. I have zero interest in being on social media or doing any of the leg work to get noticed. The blog has become nothing more than a weekly exercise to write. And also be catharsis for my own personal gain. [And I am not editing this paragraph out. It’s like my emotional state edits itself as I read through this nonsense.]

I still cannot believe the site will be a year old come October 16. That is surreal to me that I have kept at this endeavor for no other reason than to just do it. And honestly, I’m kind of okay with that. It has been a treat to just do some BS rant and build a history for the site. It would be nice for me to actually do something beside a ranty update.

Well, I’d like to get back to writing for fun. I have the free time, I should use it more wisely.

Good luck and use the Free Time, Luke!

—Buck

PS: Zach got some advice from a fellow writer he knows and two things:

One, do not start a story with a character waking up. Apparently that is a trope that is over done. Which makes sense since I’ve seen that trope in anime and the shows are usually based on light novels or manga. But now I want to start a story with this trope for the LOLz.

Two, no lyrics from actual songs. Which makes sense too. That is a copyright minefield and be prepared to pay. Which is funny because a fun story I was writing had a lot of lyrics to songs I like. It was a story set in the distant future, where a lot of the hits of today are long forgotten. And a small cover song group wants to get that music back in the popular zeitgeist and become famous as a result. And yeah . . . I use a lot of lyrics in that story. It could never see the light of day. Hah!

PSS: LOLz, this blog was 777 words long. Now it is 789.